What is autism?

Before autism entered our lives, it's probably fair for me to say my knowledge on the subject spanned as far as the 1980's film Rain Man. Having never encountered it personally, I never had the need or want to know too much about it. Watching Dustin Hoffman memorise a phone book and make Tom Cruise very rich by counting cards in a casino is about all I could say on the topic of asd. But when the realisation set in that L probably had autism, I did what any half decent parent would do - I educated myself as much as I could on the subject. I wanted to become an expert on autism, to know it inside and out to the point I could win an episode of Mastermind hands down. So where do you start when you want to find information on something? Of course the internet was the first port of call. Good old google took me to many sites which made for very upsetting reading. As if my stomach didn't churn with anxiety enough, reading some of the things I did was almost enough to make me climb under my duvet and not get back out. So I went down the book route - and many titles now fill my home - Engaging Autism, Autism and Diet Intervention, Ten things every child with Autism wishes you knew, The Reason I Jump, Early intervention games for children with autism..........you get the picture. Knowledge is power as they say and I wanted to be extremely powerful.

So I soon learned that autism is basically a social communication disorder which is defined by 3 separate impairments (in asd lingo it's known as the triad of impairments). The first impairment centres around speech and language which can typically be a speech delay and problems with both expressive and receptive language. (In layman terms, expressive language is speech and receptive language is what you can understand). As a rule of thumb, people tend to understand a lot more than they can actually say. For me it's a bit like the offside rule. I understand it perfectly in my head but don't try and ask me to actually put it into words. I wouldn't really know where to start. For children with autism the opposite is normally true, they can say a lot more than they actually understand. They can memorise and recite whole songs and films but would struggle to have any form of conversation. They often use echolalia, which means when you speak to them, instead of answering appropriately they simply repeat back what you have said. L still does this sometimes. People with autism take things literally so saying something like "my feet are killing me" may actually terrify them. Of course it's a figure of speech and simply means you have sore feet - not that your feet are actually going to cause your death. Things like sarcasm are lost on them also. So the rule here is if you are speaking to a person with autism say what you mean.

The second impairment involves social and emotional interaction. A child with autism can struggle to interact with their peers and may prefer to be alone. They may be happy to play alongside other children but don't try to actually play with them or make friends. They may be too over friendly with people or can be the opposite and appear very aloof. They can't read body language or understand the 'social rules'. It is often said that children with autism are in a world of their own due to these difficulties.

The third impairment is about imagination and flexibility. A child with autism will have no or very little imaginative play. They may not pretend to talk on a toy phone or play with a tea set or toy kitchen as a typical child would. They like structure and routine and don't like change. I remember one day a few months ago, L and I had been out and were returning home. We live in a new build estate which still has building work going on and on this particular day the entrance to our street was blocked by a huge dumper truck. We had to drive around it and get to our house by a slightly different route. L had been in a lovely mood and we were chatting in the car but the second I drove around that dumper, it all changed. He started screaming "go that way, go that way" over and over. He was hysterical and had a melt down which lasted over an hour. In the end, S had to take him out and drive back in the street the 'right' way. Something which should have been nothing more than a tiny inconvenience turned our whole day upside down and left me a bit shaken up. That is autism for you. Just when sometimes you almost forget it's there, it rears it's ugly head to remind you.

On the plus side, I can't wait to take L to the casino when he is older.

Kidding!!!!!