This week has been L's third week back at nursery and he finally seems to be settling back in and getting in the swing of things with the taxi again. Unfortunately his taxi broke down yesterday which resulted in S having to collect L from nursery so cue tears this morning for daddy to pick him up again. Apart from that, L seems more relaxed in general and when he is feeling like that the whole house is happier and less stressed. Like any parent - if your child is unhappy it has a knock on effect to how you feel so I definitely feel better now I know L is getting back to his old self.
R had her eye appointment at hospital this week and I'm pleased to say it was quite positive with the consultant saying her eyes looked healthy and now we just have to wait on her next appointments at two other hospitals before meeting back with the consultant to discuss the findings and how we move forward from here. When an appointment drops through the door for R, I get that stomach churning feeling I used to get when L's appointments would come in. It's a reminder that all is not well somewhere and always ignites the flames of anxiety deep down in me. I'm trying not to worry but when the most important things in your life are involved, it's hard not to stress.
Towards the end of last year I was lucky enough to take part in an autism course called Earlybird which is for parents and carers of children with autism. The course was over a few months and involved group sessions with other parents, as well as home visits where videos were taken of each of us interacting with our child and then shown to the rest of the group at the next meeting. The course is to help parents to understand their child's autism and how to handle and cope with problem behaviours as well as learning to communicate more effectively with your child. The main reason I wanted to do the course was to meet other parents in our situation. While I have a lot of support in family and friends, and also online communities, I really wanted to meet more people who could relate to the every day challenges in raising a child with autism. During the first group video session I noticed one of the other mums start to cry when the video of her son came on. I sat across the room and instantly felt myself well up and put my head down as I wiped away a silent tear. I wished at that moment I was sat beside her so I could put my arms around her. I wanted to tell her that I knew. I knew how she was feeling because I felt it too. And there in that moment I was so glad I was on the course because no one knew how I felt as much as the people in this room. No one quite understands the exquisite pain of raising a special little person. We have all taken the same journey. We all landed in Holland. I felt a sadness when the course finished as it almost felt like a weekly therapy session and I knew I would miss seeing everyone and would definitely miss our chats. I have a desperate need and want to keep these people in our lives, to travel our journeys together, to share our tips and stories, and to just generally be there for each other. So this post is for you, my earlybird mums (and dads!) Here's hoping it's the start of some beautiful friendships.
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